sor·did ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sôrdd)adj.
Filthy or dirty; foul. Depressingly squalid; wretched: sordid shantytowns.
Morally degraded: “The sordid details of his orgies stank under his very nostrils” (James Joyce).
See Synonyms at mean2. Exceedingly mercenary; grasping.
[Ha! Yeah... there we go.]
So, while I can express my frustrations and more recently the euphoria of finally breaking free, well... emotionally, from all those, I am far more than that...
First and foremost, I am a mother of a beautiful 2 year old little girl. She is the sunshine in my life, the Yin to my Yang and any other cliche you want to throw in the mix. Every decision I make revolves around this little person. However, many of my friends... well, actually most of my friends, including the people I find most important, do not interact with her and have never met her. I confess... I did that on purpose. That is the one area I am a self-professed protective mother. We can dissect the reasons later.
There are many obstacles one faces as a parent and I have no illusions about the struggles [and joys] ahead for me as a single mother. Sometimes, I wish I had somebody to go to for advice. Someone to reassure me that I have not lost my mind and I am doing the right things for her. I have so few pictures to remember the amazing times I spend with her... so this is my attempt, my virtual scrapbook, if you will, to remember all the joys, sorrows, Mommy mess-ups and revelations.
So, please, pull up a chair... have a latte. Stay tuned... or don't. I'll write anyway.
2 comments:
I'm so glad you finally started this one! I look forward to reading more :)
Believe it or not I too read your blogs. Like you I regret hurting and losing touch with old friends. I find these blogs to be an informal reunion to a friend I once had. I especially love the "Big Girl Panties" quote you have used in blogs past :)
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