Against the grain should be a way of life...

    Ok... time to be serious for a bit. Somehow my blog has devolved into some sort of Junior High scrapbook wall... nothing but pictures and pop princess music. I guess that's what happens when you are riding a roller coaster... you either cover your mouth, throw up and get off or close your eyes and scream, knowing it will all be over soon.

    I'm not sure what's going through my head right now... it's an interesting combination of excitement, apprehension, regret, and anticipation. Everything seems like a blur right now. I have been so busy with work lately, I loose track of all the other things going on around me. Please don't think I am complaining about work, I love it and am trying to fully enjoy the opportunity I have just been given. On top of the many hats I wear at work, I am now the Media Sales Manager of our industry's leading magazine. This opportunity is huge for me. I've already picked up 3 new clients and somehow have to figure out 7 new concepts and pitch them. I'm not going to lie... my knees are knocking a little and I'm biting my nails. But I've never backed down from a challenge and this one doesn't scare me. Anyhoo.. I digress.

    Recently, I have been compared to a lot of different people, mainly women who are sometimes a decade older than me - compared professionally, emotionally, financially, and intellectually. At first, this bothered me and I was incredibly self-conscious of this - to the point I caught myself starting to change to be more "grown-up." But at the end of the whole thing, I realized this feeling of constant comparison is one of the things that drives me. I'm not a stranger to it, that's for sure. I don't know much.. nor have I ever claimed to, but have found that those who claim to know more than the rest of us, actually know the least. So, please... I may not make sense to you right now, but I cannot count the number of times I have been told, even by the likes of those doing the comparing, how much further I am now then they were at my age...

    Is it material possessions that define a person's maturity? Is it because I don't have my college degree yet... at the tender age of 28? Am I immature because I don't like to talk politics or because I belong to more social networking sites than any of my friends? Lets see what Google says about this...

    Search: Define Maturity.
    Results: adulthood: the period of time in your life after your physical growth has stopped and you are fully developed.

    Ha... nice. Point is... I am 27 years old and throughout my "Adult life", I have been married, head over heels in love, heartbroken, given birth to an amazing daughter and have worked my ass off to land myself in a fantastic career. Sure, I may not have all my shit together and I am more intense and quirky than your average suburban mother, but I'd like to think given the bumps encountered throughout my life, if maturity wasn't a factor, I would have crumbled by now.

    I have been all over the map these last 5 months [it's been that long??] but I wouldn't change a thing... nothing, because even given my current situation and the constant feeling of having my hands tied, I've never been happier. And I wouldn't trade this feeling for any of those experiences.

    Moody Music:
    Jason Mraz - Details In The Fabric
    Everything, will be fine Everything, in no time at all Hearts will hold...

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