Fairytales don't write themselves.

    Hmmm... so many things I want to say, I don't know where to start. I've been away on a mental vacation, of sorts. I have pages and pages of my internal conversations floating around from the last 2 weeks. I won't bore you with all of it... just the highlights. {evil laugh}

    About two weeks ago, I cut the silence and called Road Trip Man. Conversation was enjoyable for about 45 minutes, then my inquisitive side got the best of me. Then more silence for a few more days and then I broke down about a week ago while on the phone with him, the whole crying works. Why? I don't know.. I'm a silly girl and sometimes I feel the need to beat a dead horse. I can't quite put my finger on all the things that are bothering me about this, but I can't talk to him without it being under the surface. If I'm not talking to him, I'm fine and it doesn't cross my mind. Then there are moments when I miss his friendship, and that's honestly, all I miss right now, so I call. Him and I are trapped in a virtual world... and if you haven't noticed that is something I am trying to move away from. I have a lot of virtual friends... hell... even friends that live in the same state, that I communicate more with via social networking avenues than actual face to face. I miss the tangible moments and interactions. I like to hear voices, see facial expressions...

    This experience with him has made me reach the following conclusion: A new goal of mine is to see at least one different friend each week. [I've also made a new friend over the last two weeks and have spent a fair amount of time virtually getting to know them. I've yet to create a nick for them, so until that happens, you will just have to sit in suspense while we work behind the scenes.]

    This weekend marked the one year dissolution of the J&N show. It hit me a little harder than anticipated, but that could have been caused by witnessing a horrendous fight with two great friends. I felt like I was being visited by the Ghost of Relationships Past. I literally sat in the dark listening to them for two hours, holding my phone, trying to decide if I should hit send. My phone died and made the decision for me... so I wiped my tears and put on my big girl panties.

    I've met some great, great people over the last year, Road Trip Man included, and I've met a couple more the last few weeks. I've a story about The Wingman from New Orleans that may go down as one of my favorite nights...ever. So, right now... I'm taking it slower, focusing more on the people I'm interacting with and less on the situation and relationship. Most importantly, I'm trying to break some old habits.

    Good luck to me... I'm too stubborn for my own good sometimes.

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