Shadows and Reflections

This morning I was awakened by a soft little voice whispering in my ear. It was my inner self disguised as the winds of change.

I once read that September was the month to make “Autumnal Resolutions,” different than January’s in that they are not about will, but about authentic wants. Well... I am pretty sure we've already covered my fashionably late issue… so, in true form, here is my list.

• Spend more time with my daughter. She deserves all the happiness in the world. She grounds me and reminds me to not lose myself… or take myself too seriously.
• Spend more time with people who are genuinely positive and are open and accepting of change.
• Spend more time with friends who know that sometimes life can suck, but are waiting in line to help you back up.
• Discover my personal gifts… find my inner artist and be courageous enough to bring them into the world.
• Hold less anger, resentment, conflict and negativity in my life.
• Feel less guilt about wanting something more.

I have been receiving some pretty intense wake-up calls as of late. Though I have not forgotten them, I instead put them up on a shelf or ignored them due to my fear of having to deal with them. This morning I could no longer sweep these signs under the carpet. The time is now to re-evaluate my career and my personal life. “Again.”

The biggest surprise for me was realizing that what I thought I wanted to most, I actually want the least. I need to re-discover the inner balance I once had but thoughtlessly tossed aside… our life truly is dependent on the choices we make and I have made my fair share of negative ones. And I should have known better. It’s turning my life upside down and ripping my heart apart.

Tell me… is there anything that you want more or less of in your life, so that you can truly love the life you’re living?