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    @nikolspencer

    Blank Piece of Paper... Please Feel Free To Eternalize.


    It’s ridiculous how much you take for granted when you are with someone… and I’m not even talking about the other person. One thing I’ve realized, well… this revelation happened a while ago, I just didn’t feel like voicing it until now, but there’s a stir within and it’s bringing the best of me out. Wow… digression… my specialty. One thing I’ve realized is that I have a lot of shit to learn.

    I went grocery shopping the other night and found myself staring at the dish soap, perplexed. Ok… what freaking brand have I been using? It was a green bottle, but then 40% of all the bottles are green. I had no idea… so I literally closed my eyes, sang a silent song and picked the first green bottle my hand touched. It was scary knowing that I didn't know a damn thing about dish soap, after all these years... but exhilarating that now I can use whatever I want. hmm... The one I want... I like the way that feels. It’s so minor, it really doesn’t qualify as a mentionable item, but it was the straw. And now, I feel sorry for that poor camel.

    Let’s call this TMI Tuesday…
    I’m 27 [and ½]. Of the last 10½ years, I have spent 9½ attached.
    8 of those married.
    Point of this….
    I am quickly learning that I never really knew who I was. I thought I did, but I changed too often and too easily... all based on my partner’s definition of attractive and desirable.

    When you start as young as I did [17 years old], grow up in a marriage, and then find yourself single… you have to learn things all over again. Or in some cases, learn new things. The scariest part for me...I have a 2 year old counting on me to already have my shit together.

    Are there Cliff Notes for this?

    1 comment:

    Jenn said...

    I certainly hope you use some of that dish soap to clean your trashed kitchen Ms. Spencer.. :)

    I think you're doing a fine job, and your daughter loves you because of who you are...So do I :)

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