I've never stood naked in front of a man. I've only showered with one man... And that was because he was nearly blind without his glasses. I hide parts of myself all the time because I fear what would be thought or said if the whole me was put out on display. And I am talking purely physical here. I have no problems baring my heart or mind.
We are so careless with our words. So self-centered with our desires and needs that we rarely stop to fully take in how much of an impact we have on those around us.
It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized I never cut my hair, not because of the way I liked it, but because I had been conditioned to think that I would lose some level of attractiveness if I went short. My hair became my shield, if you will. And occasionally, without thinking, if the world becomes too heavy... It grows a foot or so before I realize the damage I'm putting on myself.
I'm a walking wound, I suppose.
I've spent a couple days digging through buried "treasures" and memories and I suppose some are refusing to stay buried. I've been haunted by some from my not so distant past and I get caught up in the decisions and the why's. Never the what-ifs... I don't let myself get that far...
But it is really hard to sleep at night with visions of yesterday still in your head.