I thought they were butterflies... but what if they’re bugs?

    I may have used that title already, but I am too lazy to go find out… besides I have sat here for 10 minutes trying to think of another way to summarize everything and those are the only words jumping off the page at me.

    I fear I am allowing too many external influences to govern my thoughts lately. That’s crap… I know they are. I don’t like the effect they are having on me. I found myself late tonight this weekend with an overwhelming urge to talk to a friend, one found in the most unlikely of places, and as soon as they picked up the phone and I heard their tone… I knew. I was becoming an ass. How is it that I let this happen?

    I cannot even tell you the situation I have found myself in right now. The last couple of days I have found myself questioning who I am. I mean, who does this? I’m not in high school anymore. Somehow, in the debris, I found a confidant… a source of inspiration… a friend. This is someone I can have an 8 hour conversation with and still have more shit to talk about, even just a few hours later. I guess that really doesn’t say much for me… I’m known to be intense on the conversation side, but after a while, people tune me out. Active participants are a rare find for me. Every time I try and tell someone about this, I can picture the ending of the conversation and it goes badly. Please don’t think this is my passive-aggressive way of doing so. I just have to mentally purge a little right now.

    I would like to continue traveling this path… they’ve become an almost integral part of my days now. Maybe that in itself isn’t even a good thing right now. I don’t know. I’ve heard, often recently, that good things cannot come from bad situations. That’s not really true, right?

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