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    @nikolspencer

    Jade and various other shades of green.

    I’ve had a couple interesting conversations this past week with both Carl and Flannigan. We discussed several commonplace topics. And rehashed what still feels like open wounds.

    Recalling these conversations now, I can’t help but wonder: does hindsight cloud our judgment? Is the sense of loss sometimes so great that when looking back, we instantly don rose tinted lenses and remember things better than they in fact were? Or is it that while looking back, after the embers have cooled, one can genuinely see the errors of their way and can at once experience genuine regret and loss?

    All around me I see and hear about relationships quote end quote failing. I’ve been tossing around the idea that perhaps I bring that plague on them… but I digress. Point: Where are all these happy couples us single people are supposed to be jealous of? {Insert disconcerting look here}

    Is it simply that they’ve all forgotten what its like to not have their partner/spouse/16 cats? Why do we hold those that we love to such incredibly impossible standards yet feign shock and awe when we’re let down?

    Would things have been so different for me if someone had given me my advice? “This is your life. Right here. Right now. It doesn’t wait for you to get your shit together.” Poignant, huh? I’m going to stitch it on a pillow.

    They’re all missing the moments now, by holding each other to these impossible beliefs and standards that the Nicholas Sparks’ and whomever wrote that dreadful Twilight series have placed in everyone’s heads.

    Be blessed you have someone by your side, willing to put up with all the crazy that is you. They’re genuinely hard to find.

    And… please take my advice, when you do find them, make sure they ‘feel’ it.

    /rant {trips as she jumps off soapbox}


    3 comments:

    Jenn said...

    Some of us know we've found "the one" and are happy with the imperfections in our relationships. Those are things that make people. Those are things that make REAL people.

    I've read Nicholas Sparks and the "dreadful Twilight" series and I know that my hubby may not "sparkle in the sun" or quote lines of poetry to me or write me instrumental love songs. But he's here, every day, good, bad, ugly. Not because he has to be, because he chooses to be and I choose to have him there. To let him see my dark with my light.

    I don't want smoke blown up my ass by a "perfect" guy. I don't need the pressure that puts on a person or a relationship. Give me real, imperfect and raw.

    You've grown from your past. I don't believe you've got rose colored glasses on when you look at it, I think you've picked away the scab and can see that the scar left isn't as ugly as you thought it'd be ;)

    @NikolSpencer said...

    Ha! I like that... the scar isn't as ugly! :)

    chaz2b said...

    may i please have a pillow too?

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