Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.

Today these winds just cut right through me. Oh, how quickly the seasons change… coming and going before we notice. How quickly everything seems to change these days, I guess.  

Last week we lost my mother and I’m still having a tough time accepting this. She was 48. She was a very eccentric woman and I loved that about her. She was a dreamer and had a fervent love of nature and animals. My mother loved anything crafty and creative, she had a wonderful laugh… and she wouldn’t want me sitting around feeling sad. So with her spirit in tow, even though I’m still processing this, I’m trying not to get too caught up in it… which means that after just a couple stumbles, it’s time to get back on track and get back to work.

Thank you to my dear friends for all your kind words, your lended ears and shoulders. Thank you to my Mr. and to Spencer for all their unyielding compassion and support. There is nothing better than having the best of friends near you when your family is so far away.

[Title quote courtesy of Reinhold Niebuhr]

Tots, booty cheers and soapboxes.

Have I mentioned how much I love Blogher? Finally, thought provoking and relevant mommy blogs.

/rant

I must need more coffee today. Anyhoo...

In response to: Child Kicked Off Squad When Mother Protests Cheer

I know that one day I will be faced with Addison wanting to join a cheer squad or dance squad, and while I love the socialization and activity aspect of it, I do fear the sexification aspect. Perhaps, I'm just over analyzing, it is my nature though. Personally, I would stand full support with this mother and any other that stood against these cheers. Our children have to grow up too soon already... do we really need to push them closer to that line of innocence early, too? 

Read the below article and tell me: where do you stand? 

BlogHer: Child Kicked Off Squad When Mother Protests Cheer

September 21, 2010 5:00 am by Nordette Adams

The world has changed. In our effort to accept all cultures as equal and worthy of respect under the banners of multiculturalism and democracy as well as our human tendency to pass on practices while forgetting origin and context, we arrive at controversy. Let's look at the case of the recently great Michigan "Booty Cheer" drama. 

Most of us who are parents share concerns about the sexualization of children, especially little girls dressing as scantily as exotic dancers or mimicking Beyonce's moves while singing her hit "Single Ladies." Consequently, we readily agree that six-year-old Kennedy Tesch's mother was right. The so-called "cheer" taught to little Kennedy's cheerleading squad that roots for the Madison Heights flag football team was inappropriate: "Our backs ache/our skirts are too tight/we shake our booties from left to right."

For questioning the appropriateness of this chant, however, the mother was not rewarded but penalized. Her daugher was kicked off the cheering squad. Well, that hardly seems fair.

If you watch the MSNBC video on the story, you may surmise, as I have, that kicking Kennedy off the squad was much more about punishing her mother for challenging authority and going public with the story than it was about any love of the grand old "booty cheer."

As Tashi Singh asks "Was it worth hurting a child, her parents, and ultimately the reputation of the school in order to keep some silly cheerleading chant?"

Singh is not the only one asking that question to which they answer may be crazy things happen when human egos are on the line. The other question arising from the story is this, "Is that actually a cheer and where did it come from?"

I was born in 1960, am 50 years old, and was raised in the African-American community of New Orleans, La. When this story came to my attention in email, I responded that the infamous "booty cheer" is a marching chant or cadence, and I remember hearing variations of it as a child and teen. One of those is this one:

"To the right, to the left, to the right, left, right.
My back is aching,
My drawers too tight,
My booty's shaking from left to right.
To the left, to the right, to the left right left.

The words shift with time and audience. When adopted by girls "drawers" become "bra." In cleaner versions "bra" becomes "shoes," or "drawers" become "pants" or "belts" and "booty" becomes "hips."

I remember hearing this chant outside while playing with other children and as I got older, possibly on the bus following a football game while the boys beat out the rhythm on the back of bus seats. Checking around the Web, I recalled hearing other adaptations that came after my playground years that were used by cheerleaders along with "Bang Bang Choo Choo Train," and someone said in the email thread that she recalls the "booty cheer" as part of Double Dutch jump rope games.
Continued after jump...

Whatever life may bring, I know I've already won.

Last night Addi went with me to get the mail. Addi looked down at the athletic wear catalog she pulled from the mailbox and grinned. "Your belly doesn't look like that anymore, Mommy. But mine does," she giggled. She turned around and patted my stomach. "Your belly's getting bigger and bigger, mommy."

Sighing, unable to deny the truth any longer, I replied, "Do you know why mommy's belly is getting bigger?" A confused Addison shook her head no. "Because there's a baby in there, you goof ball!"

Without hesitation, Addison jumped in the air and clapped her hands. "I wanna play with it!" she exclaimed.

"We have to wait, Addi. First, we have to wait for your birthday and then for Christmas. Then, the baby will be done sleeping and you can play with it."

"When the snow comes?"

"Yep. When the snow comes, the baby will too." I reached for my wallet and pulled out the ultrasound pictures. "See this? This is the inside of mommy's tummy."

Addi wrinkled up her nose. "That's disgusting!"

Laughing, I pointed out the head and the body of the baby. She laid on the floor and pretended to be the sleeping baby. When she was done playing, I got up to get a drink from the kitchen.

"Mommy," Addi called. "Why's your butt getting bigger then?"

While my sanity and the very threads that bind this woman together have been tested these last few months, luckily my sense of humor remains.

So here I am. 16 week pregnant momma. 

Waiting for January. And hoping it brings a little girl.

Late night conversations with the best of me.

Tonight while laying in bed, Addi wandered off on one of her many tangents... Tonight exploring babies and growing up.

"Yesterday, I went to my dads house and we colors. I went grashrr!! {Waves arms in the air} and my finger got wet."

"Really? That sounds crazy."

"And my just played at my daddy's house. Actually. And then I went eh! Eh! And we took a little nap."

Addi loves pretending... She's a very vivid imagination, one of my favorite things about her. Right now, she loves pretending to be a baby. I border on finding it adorable and.... Incredibly annoying. Its a fine line. She stayed in the roll for a couple more minutes, before I gently reminded her that she is now a big girl and we must go to sleep.

"What are babies for?" She questions.

"Uhm... Babies... are for mommies & daddies to love & play with. Then they grow up to be big girls, like you."

"My was a little baby?"

"Yep. You were my little baby. And now you're my very sweet, big girl and some day, you'll grow up and be even bigger, like mommy."

"My be a mommy?!!!!" I cannot add enough exclamation points here to illustrate her excitement.

"Yes, baby. You'll be a mommy. And a grandma when you're older."

"What about a daddy? Can my be a daddy, too?!"

"Boys are daddies, baby. Girls are mommies. Which one will you be?"

"My's a girl. Can be a mommy!! My's so excited! You ready, mommy?" She questions as she grabbed my face and pressed her nose to mine.

Am I ready?

Hell, no. Holy hell, no.
Good lord, they grow up fast.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Exercising my big mouth and the freedom to use it.

Brooke Burke is known as today's modern mother? Since when? And what makes her so worthy of such a title?

This irritates me. Celebrity moms drive me nuts... so its soapbox time. I stayed home with Addi today and actually told a friend "stay-at-home mothers were either super-heroes or a few fries short of a happy meal." It's exhausting; emotionally, mentally and physically to give that much of yourself to someone each day. So, today, while taking a break I looked over one of the feed folders for just such an occasion, 'No Brains Required'. It's a mash-up of celebrity blogs and fashion nonsense that I have compiled around the Internet. I really don't buy into that crap, but some of my friends do and well... it's great mindless fodder.

My "me time" was quickly broken up by the smiling faces of the Holmes', Klume's, Alba's, Fischer's, and Hayek's running to and fro in their marvelous frocks and perfect hair chatting up what a blessing motherhood is and how it's changed their lives. How? Now instead of having an entourage of 15, you have 20: the nanny for child a, the nanny for child b, the nutritionist, their driver and their personal bodyguard? How much time must they spend in the gym to get that silver screen body back? I hardly doubt their infant is at their feet while they are running away on the treadmill. It must be exhausting running from salon to spa to boutique while some lady your Agent or Publicist chose to watch your "little miracle" stays behind playing peek-a-boo. They've landed the ultimate acting gig.

I hate Hollywood. I hate magazine covers and fashion ads. But most of all, I hate reading stories of these mothers who don't spend enough time with their children and are the reason so many of our children are starving themselves and giving in... giving in and never feeling worthy enough. I went through all of that as a child and even as a very young adult; starving, hating, cutting, disappearing. Now as a mother, its being thrown in my face again? Brooke Burke is Today's Modern Mother? No way.... I throw rocks at that.