A face so similar.

Thoughts of you... and you... and you...

Aptly named...

I'm dusting off the covers over here and realizing how late I am to so many parties. How much I've set aside this past year. How quickly things change when you're not looking. I've lost contact with some of my dearest friends. I've a stack of projects a million miles long that until recently weren't missed for their space was filled with ... wonder. All of this feels like a hole open in my chest. My core is dusty and slightly bruised. 

Looking for a change of pace or something to unwind to, I stumbled upon Zac Brown's "new" album, You Get What You Give. Colder Weather, Cold Hearted, As She's Walking Away... get out of here, Zac. You're too much sometimes... 

A little of this. A little of that. And a lot more to come...

Today was my second day back at work. Something's missing. Oh, that's right... my commitment. Compared to the rewards of the last six weeks, it is not hard to imagine why. 

Aiden, who is now 7 weeks old, is spending time with an old friend of mine. Yes... he is spoiled and has found himself a nanny. Not sure many young men would complain about a tall, busty blonde doting on them all day, so I think he's enjoying himself. I am excited though to see my friend more... so much has changed this past year for us both, it is almost as if I've a new friend. 

A couple of days ago, my step-father killed himself. Pills. He was found outside... alone... face down in the ground. He died still unable to find peace. I'm tormented more by those thoughts than by any of the memories of my childhood. 

This weekend I turned thirty. I'm quite excited about my thirty's. My twenty's ended up being full of life lessons, new adventures and life long friends. Can't imagine how the next ten years are going to shape up, but I'm excited to find out. 

One year ago Monday, Navy Boy and I started out on this little adventure of ours. One year ago. Wow. What a ride. I'm so very lucky that my hesitation and his persistence paid off the way it did. 

On the way home tonight, I turned to the radio to relax. I flipped to the alternative station and turned that volume button full circle. The soundtrack for my journey proved to be quite a thrill. I'm definitely loving these tunes right now.

Quando se fa l’ammore sotto ‘a luna come te vene ‘capa e di: “I love you!?”

At first I thought I had bumped stations. Then scratched my head wondering what B96 was doing. After listening to the song... I was mesmerized. Searching the web tonight I finally found it... and  even better? This gem of a video, too. I could never ever do something like this. I've no patience and I am afraid to admit that sitting that close to someone might actually make me cry, even if it is for stop motion awesomeness. 

But I digress, just listen and if you don't love, at least admire the fancy foot... er... hand work here. 

Yolanda B Cool & DCUP - We Speak No Americano, Featuring Cleary & Harding

Oh, brother. This makes me want to bust out my old Turkish loves. 

The sexiest song in my playlist.

Old Crow Medicine Show - Wagon Wheel 

 

What ever you say, Rhode Island.

I swear I've a little 16 year old cheerleader trapped inside me...
and all she wants to do is dance, dance dance.
But I also kind of giggle to myself every time I hear a Flo Rida song. 
I think of the following conversation with Flannigan every time:

Flannigan: I'm cool like 'dat yo.

Me: Oh, ok Flo Rida.

Flannigan: Yeah, what ever you say, Rhode Island.

Me: Not Florida, freakshow... Flo Rida... he's a rapper. hahaha Never mind. 

Oh, good times.

 Flo Rida - Club Can't Handle Me

My New Muse: Mindy Gledhill - Talented, beautiful, inspiring.

Crushing on this woman right now for oh so many different reasons. 

Mindy Gledhill - Anchor

Mindy's Website

A few words from Mindy

The thing that concerns me most about clowns? The saddness in their eyes.

Absolutely. Honest.

Chely Wright - Broken

Listening Assignment.

Never have I been more enamored by the way in which someone pronounces "vulnerable". 

Marina and the Diamonds - Not a Robot

And though it was salt water, there was something 'bout the way it tasted so familiar.

Josh Ritter - Change of Time

If I made you a mixtape this would be track 1, 2 and 3.

I love new tunes. 

While it may not be new to you, it is to me... and oh boy, how I'm torturing this tune. 

Over and over it plays right now.  

This tune reminds me of something I might say when pushed to the end. 

Simple. To the point. Slightly condescending.

Although... I don't think I could ever get the pout in Morgan's eyes right. Oh, how they do me in.

@jrporter, I can see you adoring this tune. 

Please. Listen... and love.

Birds of Wales - Uninteresting

Current Playlist: Potato Salad and Thigh Highs.

My playlist has multiple personality disorder. Last week, it was cranking out Ludacris and Justin Bieber. This weekend? R.L. Burnside and Zac Brown Band. I said it earlier, and I'm still saying it... I wanna pack my bags and live in a Zac Brown Band song. 

I listen to Chicken Fried and I think of my family. My daughters laughter. Cool summer evenings around campfires. Worn cowboy boots. My favorite sundress. Navy Boy's devilish smile. Life's simplistic moments that we all too often take for granted. 

I big puffy pink heart Zac Brown and his lovely Band. He keeps my simple country girl in check. 

Zac Brown Band - Chicken Fried

Now. R.L. Burnside. Raise your hand if you don't know who he is. Ok... now go sit in the corner and give yourself a time out. That's not ok. This song lights an interesting fire within... I can't get over it.

To put it a little more eloquently, the difference between these two artists and the feelings they invoke is this: Zac Brown would be a late afternoon picnic along the lake. RL Burnside would be a very sweaty early morning strip tease. 

{gasp} I know. 

Listen. Love... and maybe even drool a little. 

RL Burnside - Let My Baby Ride

Obscure Sentiments

The Shape Falls At Your Feet

[via I Wrote This For You]

Maybe it's because you're one of those people that believes that sometimes,
the most reckless thing you can do with your heart, is not being reckless with it.

"The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time. The ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center-light pop and everybody goes 'Aww!'"    - Jack Kerouac

Speechless. 

Urban Garden Project

 The Books - Cello Song

The taste of home is filling up my mouth

I'm at a loss for words it seems today. Cherish this moment... they are few and far between.

So, in keeping with last week's theme, here's more randomness from the gallery of my internet dwelling. 

Too early to start humiliating my daughter with homemade goodness?

Holy awesome batman is right! Best engagement pictures ever.

Best grammar lesson. Period. Or is that semi-colon? {slaps knee}

Best advice of the week:

"The Sizzler is a great restaurant to take your friends that were born without tongues." Rob Huebel.

Favorite Friday night (and Saturday morning) of 2010:

Listening to infectious melodies in the presence of an enchanting soul... 

New Indulgence Playlist

...and a couple so awesome, I had to share them... now.

The Snake The Cross The Crown: Maps

"...and there I sat silently watching as he poured himself emotionally into the lyrics of a world so similar to  his own. I unexpectedly found myself bathed in his honesty and vulnerability... feeling completely undeserving of that honor." - Random Musings

Emptyself - Doll Faced Vulture

That is all... for now.

Fingers crossed... my time is coming now.

Is it possible that I have run out of things to complain about? Or have I simply entered into an adult state of emotional maturity and have simply channeled that frustration elsewhere? My online presence has diminished the last few months. My blog has turned tail and become more of a photolog. My twitter followers keep following and growing, even, despite my truancy and lack of brilliance.

Whatever the reason you are still here, I appreciate your presence... truly I do. When I receive your comments and virtual nods of approval, I can't help but feel like a big deal at that moment. I live for inspiring moments and creative souls and through this circle of single parents huddled in our proverbial support circle, not only have I found my legs again, but I feel... is it... yes. My wings. There are so many things that I have wanted to do and for whatever reason, be it time, knowledge or resources, never took the plunge. I would tell you what I have been working on, but well... its uber top secret and will only be spilled if enough of you riot and force me out of my silence.

{slaps knee} I kill myself sometimes.
Oh, but seriously folks. {wipes a tear}

I did finally pick up that paint brush this weekend , despite the flurry of excitement with Flannigan yesterday. I'm waiting for it to dry right now before I can move on to the next object... but I'm stoked just by its mere presence in my life right now. Knowing it's started has put a skip in my step. I'll share pictures when I'm a little farther along. For now though, I thought I would fill my silence with some of my favorite internet places. I had so much fun sharing some of the sites I window shop with my dear friend, The Gentleman, that I thought I would share with you too.

So, world... welcome to my Sunday Show & Tell. {giggles}

Reminds me of something I might say.

Dear Sewing Machine. I miss you.

Mirror. Yellow room. Stenciling... Happiness.

Inspirational and moving.

This is exactly what I've been missing...

Awesome project organization idea.

Words I'm loving and living:
“For believe me: the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and greatest enjoyment is - to live dangerously.”- Friedrich Nietzsche

Overplayed album of the weekend:

Lykke Li - Youth Novels

Her song Time Flies is my favorite at the moment. She offers the unique ability to relate such raw honesty.  I love the contrast in emotions between the lyrics and her voice. Building confidence and positive energy coupled with insecurity and vulnerability. She's brilliant. {swoon}

Lykke Li - Time Flies

No dawn. No day. I'm always in this twilight.

Something about Florence Welch overthrows me. I think it’s the raw honesty in her voice. The acoustic versions of her performances are amazingly simple, yet her voice lends a certain sense of poignancy to the song that was previously unclaimed.

Right now I simply cannot get enough of Cosmic Love. The initial musical buildup at 1 minute 20 seconds is awesome… you get the first glimpse at the emotional intensity she’s trying to convey.  But humor me for a moment, turn your speakers high and close your eyes. Tell me the emotion at 2 minutes 34 seconds doesn’t just surge through you. It’s like a wave of butterflies right through my stomach. I hope this song never loses its nerve…

Florence + The Machine: Cosmic Love

A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

We're starting a revolution from my bedroom... "Rah rah, ah ah ahh!"

This morning I wandered into my room to find Addi awake, propped up on my bed listening to my iPod. She pulled the headphones away and smiled.

"Mommy. Is this Gaga?"

"You got it."

{dramatic sigh} "I loves it." And she put the headphones back on and tapped her foot through the rest of the song with her eyes closed.

Some strange music draws me in.

I wanted to share with you the songs that I have been listening to lately... and by lately, I mean I've been repeating these songs for the past week. Ok... killing is probably more accurate. I tend to stumble across songs that perfectly highlight the mood and the situation I find myself in... and these songs are no exception. Listen and love... or at least listen and humor me. {winks}

I would love to hear your thoughts on these, especially since some of you turned me on to these songs and moments.

The Blue Jackets - You Send Shivers
I discovered The Blue Jackets while watching Purple Violets. Haven't seen it? Get on it. There is another song that I really want you to hear, but cannot find it on YouTube, so please listen to Do You Remember here. I love the emotion and the sulleness rought of regret in this song.

Dawes - Love Is All I Am
In order to adequatly describe how I feel about this song, I would have to paint you picture upon picture of setting suns and read you poems written just for you, as the cool winds blow off the beach and through our hair. Essentially, there are not words.. its a place for me... not just a tune.
Have I lost you? {winks}

Port O'Brien - My Will Is Good
Just listen. Its contagious.

Fun. - Ba Ba Ba (I Wanna Be The One)
This is for my little Monkey... "dare say the love of my life"
"All the muscles in my mouth never smiled or said profound things until the day she handed you to me."

The Format - On Your Porch
There were parts of my heart that had been left in the dark... ignored. I'd like to say this expresses those parts. Such sorrow and hope all tied together with a pretty little melody.

The acoustic version is my favorite, as it so often goes. However, I cannot find a decent copy of it on YouTube.com... but if you do, let me know.

Camera Obscura - Forests and Sands

This song has been played 136 times in the last week... and thats only while I've been at work. I have completly fallen in love with this band. They are touring soon, I think the closest to Chicago will be Indiana. I'm thinking about a road trip.

Augustana - Boston
Finally... an acoustic cover without an annoying 13 year old girl singing along. What is it with me and the acoustic covers? I hate the filtered, the over processed. Listen to an acoustic set vs. a studio set... the emotion and the vocal uniqueness has not been extracted yet. This ties into my desire to see an opera... some day. I'll be the one crying like a baby riddled with goose bumps.


Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra - Its a Heartache
This is hands down the best version of this song I've heard.

Saying this will change your life might be dramatic, but a part of me kind of believes it.

Lightning Dust - Listened On

"You can reach into the middle of this song, to its core, and hold on to it for the support you need. No matter what goes on around it, that voice, it walks like a pre-teen in high heels, wobbly ankles, it's so true and sad, and it doesn't kid around. If you've ever cut down a Christmas tree, you know what I'm talking about. You can reach right in, past the needles and branches, the ne'er-do-much strumming and the merely periphery organ, and hold on to that voice to keep your balance, to grab hold when the bottom falls out, to carry it home with you. She sings like she'd never look you in the eye." [via Said The Gramophone]

Heard the sound from miles away
and it thumped in my ear like a drum.
I was picked out of everyone, so listened on.
Took me out of a passion I'd imagined
and sent me out on a search.
If it hadn't rained so hard that night
I could have made it to your house by 1.

But sometimes when you're walking alone
you feel your mind start to lose control
and I felt like a vicious joke
would have killed me all the way home.

We were running through the night so fast
but none of us could catch up to you.
Day shone a little less light so you
taught me how to follow my shadow.
Could have sunk me like a stone
but the stars shine brighter in the sky
then the dust from the dirt below.

But sometimes when you're walking alone
you feel your mind start to lose control.
And I felt like a vicious joke
would have killed me all the way home.

She said, get off my train you dirty hobo.

Deer Tick - These Old Shoes

If you can listen to this song and not fall in love with it, then I am quite certain there is something wrong with you. Typically, music is another way I express my frustration, passion and excitement, however, I can honestly say this song does none of that for me right now. Or if it does, I just haven't figured it out yet. It simply puts me in a good mood. And lately, I've been in a damn good mood.

Its amazing how impowered one can feel by simply saying No.